kick back

Alright, I figure I need to get back into the grind of the whole posting thing. So, my friend Grace told me… just write. Even if it’s crap, just write. And it gets easier. I’ll hope to god that she’s right because I cannot afford to sit there and write and have it result in nothing. What I’ll do in get into the basis of my life and play catch up, because most of the time it’s easier to write about what you know about. And technically I know a bit, just a tad bit about my life.

Basically, this year has been a hell of a lot of things packed together in one smush-faced erratic joke and misery fest.

Every Spring Break for the last two years, someone I know has passed away. 2k9, Danny and Sherry passed away in a horrible car accident on their way home from a family trip through Georgia. They left behind Sayf and Nafisah. Two beautiful children, ages 9 and 7 at the time. Time past, a year, and upon the eve of that same spring break in 2k10, my fathers Aunt passed away. That week is in my memory as a blur of time and words. “Dad, we have to go to Canada. We have to see her before…” And then, she passed. She passed before we got to go, and the eight hour trip was made, driving up to Canada and visiting family and feeling sad.

We left and, I won’t lie and say I was close to Mami because she lived in Canada and my entire life she’s been sick. But her death did affect me. Death hits you, no matter how well you knew the person, how much you cared. I grieve because I know someone is grieving more than I am. I know someone is in more pain than I am. And I don’t like to know or see that happening.

Going home didn’t help when people start online drama. And as Shaz says, “That’s why you don’t become friends with people online.”

There’s a difference, though, not that I’ll get into the details, because that’s boring to me and I could honestly care less about that right now.

So, people create issues online, and I realize – that website? that situation and scene? I could do without the issues it creates and the problems and people that sometimes comes along with it. Trust me, if I needed drama in my life, I know exactly where to go. And it’s far away from where I am and where I want to be.

I’m feeling pressured to get the work done in school, my insomnia’s slowly driving me insane. I can’t eat. June comes along and as soon as I can, I stop going to school. Trust me, my report card reflected that. Hanging out with Grace and Anu really helped ease up all that seemed to be getting worse with my life. The weather, friends, summer. It’s almost an instant cure to some things.

June eased into July and my family took a trip to Canada and I can honestly say that it was the best time, out of the seventeen years of going up to Canada, that I have had there. We acted like tourists, visiting Niagara and all these parks, and it honestly did not matter that I had a fever for like, a week. It was just a great time. And then we had to take a tour of the west which made me miss my world cup final… and I didn’t mention that, did I?

THE WORLD CUP freaking helped fix me up. I’m not over-exaggerating. It really helped me fix myself up, gave me something to be happy with, and even, honest to God helped me pray. I mean, I pray five times a day, daily. But the World Cup made my prayers long and careful and I prayed and prayed. And I rooted for Spain from day ONE. And I loved them…and they won.

Except I didn’t get to see the final. In fact, when the final game of Spain versus Holland began, I was running up Bryce Canyon to get reception on my cell phone, so that I could get texts from people that would tell me what the hell was happening in my game. I mean, my boys were in the WORLD CUP FINAL. COPA MUDIAL people! And I couldn’t sit there and watch and pray.

And when I got the news – Andres Iniesta scored a goal. We won the world cup. Spain had won the World Cup for the first time in history. I was in a tour bus in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs, my voice wanted to erupt – “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Except we were in the bus, full of Oriental-Asians (It was a Chinese tour.) And then the tour guide announced it minutes later and had anyone looked at me then, I would have looked like the happiest person in the entire world.

I’m not a liar.

I bought my Fernando Torres jersey in San Francisco. I was ecstatic. And then, the day I left San Francisco, Iker Casillas and his girlfriend Sara Carbonero were there. I was slightly sad about that – I honest to God had a dream that after winning the World Cup, that the NT would go be happy and party in California or Las Vegas – where I had been. Alas, Iker shows up in Frisco when I leave, and then the entire Real Team (which is like, half the NT plus other amazinggggg players I love) shows up at UCLA right afterwards.

Thank you world, for that. That’s actually amazing. (I’m not being sarcastic at all. One day I will meet the NT.)

Fast forward a few weeks into late July, and we go camping and it’s epic and it lives up to our expectations. The best place is Stokes State Forest.We play at the beach, we go to the creek, we hike, we bike, we run and fall and act like children. It’s peaceful and it’s active and wondrous.

And then August begins, my sisters birthday; we go beading. My dads birthday and Uncle Bash’s, we have a barbecue. And then the amazing month of Ramadan starts. And then all these Islamophobia things start up and that’s just… immaturity. (That seems to be running around a lot lately.)

It’s unethical and childish. But I’m not going to get into the politics. It’s not exciting, and it’s just history repeating itself. Blacks. Jews. Japanese. And now Muslims. Kiah Glenn-Smith said, “Don’t be surprised when they start rounding Muslims up.” And as a reply got, “They already started. They just got better at hiding it.” Kiah replied again, “…Guantanamo Bay.”

Last month, a friend of a friend passed away and I wish I had known him because so many people have said such great things about him. And he seemed like a great person. Earlier in August, my friends mother passed away. And then, three days ago my best friends granddad passed away. That entire family is close to mine, and I can say that his passing was felt throughout the entire community.

I’m turning seventeen tomorrow, world. And I can honestly say I’ve changed who I am a lot in the last year. I strive every day to become a better person. I believe in God, I pray, and I hope. I have faith in things. I have faith in football. I have faith in the future. Have you?